Improve Yourself Programatically

You need a 7 Day BrainwashFor the past 3 years, I have spent most of my time developing my business and along the way, have had to overcome a number of fears and self-limiting ideas. What I was really doing was reprogramming my mind to think differently.

Here are 3 techniques you might want to try that will help you reprogram yourself to a new and improved YOU:

1. Hang out with an influencer.

When I first got started in business, I was struggling to pay the bills and find enough clients to keep me going. Even when I did find clients, I did a terrible job billing for my time and I was not recognizing my own value as a service provider.

I was then lucky enough to meet another business owner who had built a number of successful companies and had already been through all of the tough business lessons that I had yet to be exposed to. Over time we became friends and I was able to absorb an incredible amount of information about business, mindset, dealing with clients, social skills, etc… all of the things that made him so talented at business.

The challenge here is that you can’t just walk up to someone and ask them to be your friend. When you meet someone who you would like to learn from, show them that you value their time and bring something of your own to the table. If they feel they can also learn from you and your life experiences, they will be far more willing to hang out with you.

2. Wage a war against the whiny voice in your head.

Have you ever had an idea that totally captivated your imagination and inspired you to think about a life far beyond the one you are living today? If so, were you also among the majority of people who had that cynical, whiny, negative voice pop up and immediately tell you all the reasons why this new idea could never come true?

Instead of falling victim to that defeating voice, try turning the tables. Picture that voice as a vicious enemy trying to steal your life, power and happiness away from you. Challenge the voice. Question its authenticity. Question its reasoning. Make it powerless against your will.

Realize that you have the choice to replace that voice with a more encouraging, faithful and friendly one. A voice that will consider your goal not just a possibility, but a probability. A voice that does not look externally for validation before taking action, but rather, uses self-belief as its driving force. A voice that realizes that any person who has ever achieved greatness had to do so against similar odds and that all things are possible to those who commit to their vision.

3. Get the competitive edge.

When you want to accomplish something new, try setting up a competition against one or more people who want the same thing. This creates two powerful forces.

The first is the desire to be triumphant. Imagine the excitement someone must feel when they win a gold medal in the Olympics. They have achieved a personal dream and they get a flood of recognition from friends, family, media, fans and ultimately their entire country. What person would not love this kind of validation of success? The same kind of triumph can be experienced when you win a competition that you have been involved in, no matter how small it may be.

The second (and more powerful) force that gets created in competition is the desire to avoid defeat. Most humans instinctively associate any form of loss with pain and in most cases, will do anything necessary to avoid that pain. If you enter some kind of competition that will help drive you towards your goals, this pain avoidance force may be the deciding factor in your success.

Use competitive scenarios to drive you forward but remember to detach from the outcome. If you happen to lose your competition, don’t get down in the dumps. Focus on what positives came out of it (usually a drastic increase in results) and continue moving towards your goals.

Self Motivation – Why Being Realistic Won’t Achieve Your Goals

You need a 7 Day BrainwashI’d like to introduce you to “Jo.” You might know her.

Jo had a happy childhood. Her great passion was singing.

But her parents cautioned her. “Be realistic. Get a proper job,” her father said. Her mother thought that finding a nice man might be better. Because Jo loved and respected her parents, she thought they might have a point. She began to doubt her dream of singing, and thought it might be a childish whim.

When Jo was eighteen she left school and decided she should at least have a go achieving her goal of becoming a professional singer.

Three years went by, but her big break never came. One evening, at a party, she got chatting to a woman in her forties.

She told Jo that she once wanted to be a singing star too. She told her how she had tried everything to break into the big time – even once sleeping with her agent. “Get real, honey,” the woman cooed. “You won’t achieve your goal. It’s a dream. Forget about it. We all do.” Jo could feel her heart sinking.

She met more people over the coming months like the woman at the party. Soon, it seemed that everyone she met had once had a dream and had given up on it. Achieving goals, she concluded, was mostly a matter of luck that happened to a very few people. She didn’t feel lucky any more.

Jo married a dull but nice man, and within a couple of years they had children. When her daughter was ten she said to Jo, “Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a singer.” That’s when Jo cried.

How many Jo’s do you know? She’s fictitious, but there are millions like her who gave up on their dreams because they believed achieving their goals were out of reach.

What is missing from this story is the one vital fact that Jo overlooked. She forgot to notice that in every walk of life people succeed! There is a tendency to think that “being realistic” means noticing what happens to the majority and giving up just like they did.

Your focus is what matters. Look or listen to those who gave up and you’ll likely join them and the burgeoning army of those who say that life is a struggle. Those people are not happy. They are in jobs they dislike or loathe, drive cars that bore them and often they are stuck in relationships with people they no longer like, love or respect. That’s because they no longer like, love or respect themselves! How could they? And more to the point, why would you want them as role models? Join them, and your goal becomes getting others to join them too. It’s how misery spreads!

But focus on the successes and you’ll see that, by and large, they’re not only happy at the top, but they enjoyed (most of) the journey to get there. Enjoying each day is surely what life is about! That, above all else, should surely be your goal!

It’s not too late for you. If you still have a dream in your heart you can achieve it. The only thing that holds you back is your belief that you can’t.

Cherish The People In Your Life

You need a 7 Day BrainwashWhen you take a moment to really listen to another person, hear their story and connect with them, it can be an amazing experience. The problem in today’s world is we are all moving at an extremely rapid pace and it can be difficult to find time to have a good conversation with someone new.

I was recently at a business networking event where there were maybe 50 other business owners and sales people in the room. As I walked around, I saw a lot of fast paced talking and most of the conversation was “surface level” discussion at best. Most people were waiting for their chance to talk at the other person rather than listening and being engaged in the dialog. Part of the issue was this type of event can be rushed and that alone can hurt the quality of conversation. But this was not the first time I had witnessed this and I began reflecting on the number of times I had done the same.

Up until recently, I had been very focused on business and just being productive in general that I was missing out on opportunities all around me. If someone new would cross my path at a coffee shop or at the gym, I would do my best to avoid the person because I was in a rush. In some cases, the person was actually trying to strike up a conversation but I wanted no part of it. In hindsight, the reason I was doing it was because I was making a snap judgment (usually based on something superficial like the age of the person) that a conversation with this person would be more work than it was worth.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting at a coffee shop very early in the morning tucked away in a corner with my laptop trying to get some writing done. About 30 minutes after I sat down, an older gentleman probably in his late 70s put his bag down in the chair next to me and went up to buy his coffee. Right away I felt myself get annoyed and was about to pack up my bag and move to another coffee shop when the man quickly reappeared and asked me what I was working on. For some reason, I changed in that moment and I felt compelled to answer his question and actually use the opportunity to make a new friend. A minute later I closed my laptop and spent the next hour having a great conversation with this interesting guy. He shared some amazing stories about his travels through Europe and his plans for the future.

The conversation totally changed my day and ultimately the way I looked at other people in general. Everyone has a story to tell and if we spend even a few moments to take some genuine interest, we are bound to find something amazing in every person we meet.

Hang out with an influencer

You need a 7 Day BrainwashI think most people buy into the idea that we become a product of our environment. What better way to brainwash yourself to become better than spending time with someone who inspires you. When I first got started in business, I was struggling to pay the bills and find enough clients to keep me going. Even when I did find clients, I did a terrible job billing for my time and I was not recognizing my own value as a service provider.

I was then lucky enough to meet another business owner who had built a number of successful companies and had already been through all of the tough business lessons that I had yet to be exposed to. Over time we became friends and I was able to absorb an incredible amount of information about business, mindset, dealing with clients, social skills, etc… all of the things that made him so talented at business.

The challenge here is that you can’t just walk up to someone and ask them to be your friend. It is tough enough to find the influencer types but when you do, you have to make sure that you take interest in them and express your desire to learn from them. At the same time, show them that you value their time and bring something of your own to the table. If they feel they can also learn from you and your life experiences, they will be far more willing to hang out with you.

Can you believe it?

You need a 7 Day BrainwashI’m always fascinated when I read stories or case studies about “the placebo effect”. The typical scenario has a group of people being given a sugar pill but they BELIEVE the treatment is real. Often these people recover as well, or even better than those who received the actual treatment.

The explanation of this phenomenon basically comes down to the fact that the patient believed the treatment was real, and it was the belief that caused the positive result.

I’m sure you would agree that people always act and respond based on what they believe to be true. For example, if you believed you saw a bear in the forest, you would likely react with fear. If the bear turned out to be a person dressed in a bear costume, you would still react with just as much fear until you were told the “real” truth. Once you were aware that the bear was not real, you believed a new reality and your response would change drastically.

Well this process can be applied to pretty much any area of life.

Most often, I think about this process when it comes to achieving a goal that is well beyond anything you have accomplished before. It is very difficult to believe that you are capable of achieving something so foreign to your current life results.

For example, if you are terrified of speaking in front of a small group, it is next to impossible to believe that you would be capable of delivering a powerful speech to a large audience. However, if you spent 30 days reading, studying and even speaking to people who overcame your exact situation to become powerful speakers, you would quickly create the belief that this was also possible for you.

Once you had truly convinced your mind that you were also capable of being a speaker, your actions would follow suit. You would take speaker training, you would participate in speaking engagements, you would join public speaking clubs and you would likely do anything else that moved you towards the goal.

But all of these actions were governed by the fact that you believed you were capable.

So here is the real question. Do you have certain goals or ideas that you may have been rejecting because you simply did not believe you were capable?

If so, it is very likely that you formed this belief by default without ever really asking yourself if it was possible. Well now is your chance to start changing that belief. Look for other people who have done what you want to do and study them. Realize that it is very likely possible for you too. Change your beliefs and in turn, change your actions. Change your actions and you have a new life!

A Child’s Perspective

You need a 7 Day BrainwashThis past month, my wife and I have started sending our 2 sons to public daycare. The 1 year old is too young to understand what is going on so he is always happy to be there. The 3 year old, on the other hand, has been having a very difficult time in the mornings. As soon as we get in the car, he starts crying and it gets progressively more intense as we get closer to the daycare. By the time we are in his classroom, he is in a near panic, screaming and drawing intense stares from the other parents and staff. Within seconds of me leaving, he completely calms down and gets absorbed with some fun new activity that he would not have been able to experience at home.

Witnessing this really drove home a new realization for me. We all have the ability to experience happiness (or any other positive emotion for that matter) at any time we choose to do so. The advantage with children is that they let go very quickly and have a much easier time living in the moment.

I started thinking more about how most adults handle these kinds of situations, myself included, and in the majority of cases it takes a much longer time to move from a depressed state to one of positivity and happiness.

I can think of many times in my life where I spent an entire day in a negative state carrying around a grudge about something that happened many hours (or even days) prior. At the time, I didn’t even realize that I had control over the situation. Complete victim mentality.

Having spent a number of years working on my own personal development, I now experience far more happy and positive moments than negative ones. But I think it is only human to have times when the doom and gloom creeps in. My new strategy when dealing with these circumstances is to literally think like a 3 year old.

As an example, a few weeks ago I was expecting payment from a client with whom I made an agreement to offer a monthly payment plan. This was something I did more as a favor than a standard policy. When the client ignored my first, then second payment request, I felt myself becoming extremely frustrated. In the past, an event like this might have soured my mood, and in turn my productivity for the entire day (if not longer). I used the opportunity to literally picture myself as the 3 year old easily moving from one moment of devastation to a brand new moment of fun and opportunity. Instead of picking up a coloring book or a new toy fire truck, I picked up my laptop and began working on an exciting new project that I was involved in. My mood shifted immediately. I then took it up a notch with some inspiring music and before I knew it I was feeling amazing and very excited about my day.

I have still not been paid by that client but I’m okay with that now. The new project that I got involved in has already more than paid for the unpaid bill from my deficient client and I’m having a lot more fun with what I’m doing now.

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed by negativity, frustration, anger or depression, try remembering what it was like as a kid when you could experience pure happiness at any moment you chose to do so!

Get motivated with these tips

You need a 7 Day BrainwashThere is no “failure” per se but rather, a choice. Do we choose to draft new plans and keep going? Or do we give up on the idea and move on.

You can do it… you just need to persist. And sometimes that persistence will be the only thing to keep you going.

Take a few minutes to really contemplate this question… “Does your life have meaning?”

Are you creating something that makes you come alive and gives you that meaning we have been talking about?

Realize that anything you want to do CAN BE DONE just where you stand right now. One little action is all it takes.

Some people view life as a set of choices with varying degrees of risk. They then make choices based on risk mitigation rather than gains.

The truth is, if you want to make the most of your life and really experience everything you truly desire, you have no choice but to RISK.

Use today to focus on powerful goals and the powerful actions that you can be taking to advance towards those goals.

Focus on the win and accept the risk as the price you pay for the dream. Will it be worth it? You better believe it.

I want to challenge you today. Make your entire focus about exuding the energy that you want to attract into your life.

We can choose to react to life. Or we can choose to respond to life.

Do you know what triggers your stress?

You need a 7 Day BrainwashBecause stress can be endured over a period of time without the individual truly becoming aware of it or by them simply accepting it as part of their lives, one of the most important aspects of stress management is to take those first positive steps towards making key changes as this will then create the strong foundations that are required to master stress control.

It’s important that progression is consistent throughout; they may be small steps individually but they are powerful ones nevertheless. The idea is to change any existing behaviours and to stress-proof new routines as much as possible, re-inventing both thought and actions going forward. This might sound difficult, but the most difficult aspect is always going to be identifying areas of change, after that, it is merely consolidating those lifestyle changes.

When life is muddled and very stressful, identifying the stress triggers that cause the problems will make changing them that much easier. Taking a pen and paper, write down all of the things that cause the most stress.

– No time to yourself

– Problems with the teenage son or daughter

– Money problems- more going out than coming in

– Feeling undervalued at home and at work

– Too much work

The list should be as comprehensive as possible and very honest. No-one else has to see the list and even those annoying little stressors should be captured because although on their own, they may just be a source of irritation, coupled with other factors, they can form powerful stress triggers that can cause much damage physically, healthily and emotionally.

Once the list is complete, it should be scrutinized with a sense of clarity to identify those areas where changes could be made. If necessary break the list down into a series of sub-sections and options such as:

– Feeling undervalued at home

– Having to do all of the housework as well as work full-time

– Main culprit Husband/Wife step-son

– Started happening when partner changed job and worked a lot more hours (pattern established).

Options

– Open up communication to partner

– Discuss jointly with step son and work out parameters

– Stick to it.

By writing down everything that evokes a stress response i.e. churning feeling in the stomach, headaches, tears, anger, or irritability for example, the individual is able to really understand what is going on in their lives and why they feel the way they do. In addition, this clarification of stress triggers helps the individual to face any set of real problems and tangible problems can always be overcome.

Self doubts, irregular thought patterns and feelings of inadequacies or helplessness are more difficult to fight. Ascertain the true cause of those stressors and deal with them one by one.

10 tips for positive lifestyle changes

You need a 7 Day BrainwashMaking the transition to success is about more than thinking positively, it’s about taking complete care of yourself and staying fit and healthy. The following tips can help you to take a natural approach to your new lifestyle.

1. Get plenty of sleep. Your body has to replenish itself overnight to heal and to enable you to focus and work hard towards your goals and to combat any stresses and strains, it’s vital that you have at least 6 to 8 hours each night.

2. Remember to keep that positive outlook. It’s a known fact that those people who are positive often have better health and greater success.

3. Daily exercise is important and you should try for at least 30 minutes every day, getting fitter will help you to not only feel better but feel that you can achieve anything that you set your mind too. It provides the foundation for health, well-being and success.

4. Meditate daily even if for just ten minutes. Use meditation to help you to relax and to handle any daily stress. Closing your eyes and picturing a beautiful scene is beneficial, in fact, visualize anything that inspires you or equally, you can picture your ultimate goal and see yourself achieving.

5. Ensure your work/ life balance is even. It’s good to go after your dreams but make sure you get some quality time out too.

6. Surround yourself with positive people. Get rid of energy drainers and welcome in those who are intrinsically good, happy and who have achieved their own personal goals.

7. Ensure you have a good diet. Eating on the run will not help you to stay healthy or to live a balanced life. If you know your diet is lacking, make sure you rectify this and take some supplements if necessary.

8. Remember to laugh. Laughter is so therapeutic and it releases endorphins, increases your blood flow, boosts your immune system and makes you feel good.

9. Sometimes we hold onto bitterness and regrets. These can eat away at us and make us unhealthy and unhappy. Face your inner demons and let them go.

10. Remember that life is too short to not be happy. Follow your dreams and live a fulfilled life. You can