You Should Curb the Instinct of Taking Revenge

myselfhelpdiary taking revengeRevenge begets revenge. Gandhi said that if everyone followed an eye for an eye, then we are all be walking blind. Taking revenge may sound pleasurable but it does not yield any goodness. On the other hand, there are still some people who do not want to take revenge.

Couples start hurting each other and the relationship starts to get sour. Instead of fixing the relations, they spend more time in making it worst. In fact, some people admit that they take pleasure in hurting others.

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6 Tips to Smoothen Your Marriage Life

myselfhelpdiary strengthen marriage lifeMaintaining a long-term relationship is challenging as it requires time and attention. When something goes wrong, couples do proactive measures to fix the relationship. These measures can often lead to either strengthening the relationship or a breakup. Here are a few easy tips on how you can strengthen your marriage life.

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Personal Growth – Protect Yourself Emotionally

myselfhelpdiary protect yourself emotionallyThere are people who get nervous about investing emotionally in relationships and friendships. They feel unworthy of being loved and appreciated by others or may have been hurt from previous relationships. With that being said, self-protection happens and it can be done in different ways.

Disengaging yourself mentally is a good way to protect yourself from emotional hurt but it can also avoid you from establishing emotional happiness and meaningful relationships. Distancing yourself by not engaging mentally may seem boring, aloof, hostile, and disinterested to others. Other people may feel that they are being ignored but in reality they do not know how to start a conversation and may feel a little awkward.

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The Law of Attraction

You need a 7 Day BrainwashThere are several natural laws by which we are all bound, and the law of attraction is just one of these. These laws definitely exist- you can see the law of gravity (another natural law) in action every time you drop something and watch it fall to the floor!

The law of attraction works by making sure that what is brought into your life matches the thoughts and energy you are sending out. Everything in the universe is made of energy- including us. Everything you can see is made up of different configurations of energy. If you were to look at your hand through a powerful enough telescope, you would see that your hand is not actually a solid object but made up of countless tiny atoms. These atoms are never static, but are in a constant state of motion. You are constantly radiating this energy out to the universe in the form of thoughts (which are also made up of energy), and the type of energy sent out depends on your emotional state at that particular time. These emotional thought energies are known as vibrations’ and automatically attract back to us anything that is on the same vibrational frequency. Put simply, your emotions and thought determine what you are attracting. You become a magnet, attracting whatever you think about, especially if you attach emotion to the thought.

Energy vibrates at different frequencies, and the things you attract into your life are vibrating at the same frequency as your thoughts. Thoughts such as love, excitement and abundance vibrate at higher frequencies which will attract more of these things to you, whereas thoughts such as stress, anger and confusion vibrate at lower frequencies which will attract more of them into your life.

For example, if you are constantly feeling anxious because your car needs repairs and you have some large bills due which you don’t know how you will pay, the thought vibrations you are giving out will attract back to you things on a similar frequency; for example you will receive more things to feel anxious about- you may get more bills or your washing machine may develop a fault.

On the other hand, if you are feeling good about yourself and happy with life then the thought vibrations you are giving out will attract more reasons for you to feel good and happy with your life.

Just as the law of gravity is always working, the law of attraction is also always working, even though we are not always aware of it. Everything we currently have in our lives right now is what we attracted- whether it is poor relationships, ill health or lack of money. Even the clothes you wear and the car you drive- your thoughts attracted them whether you were aware of this or not. Although this may seem a little depressing, it is actually quite empowering! How? Well, if you unconsciously attracted things you didn’t want into your life, now that you know about the law of attraction and how it works, you can start deliberately attracting the things you do want!

Track your progress

You need a 7 Day Brainwash“What get measured gets managed.” — Peter Drucker

The beginning of a new year is a time where we all sit down and determine once and for all that we are going to change. We’ve failed our resolutions in years past, but not this time. Right?

If this describes your thought process, the odds are drastically against you. Most of us live our lives primarily through habit. Hundreds (actually more likely thousands) of little habits determine our moment by moment choices and ultimately our results in life.

Making permanent change usually requires a lot more than a simple new year’s declaration. And the key is becoming aware of the changes you want to make.

Enter the fun and exciting world of statistical measurement. Okay, even as a Math major I find the idea of stats and data completely boring. Or at least I DID find it boring until I read the quote at the beginning of this article.

The truth is, when you begin to measure anything, the simple act of observation will begin to impact the results.

In 2007 I was on a mission to change my life, build up the courage to quit my job and start my own business. This required a total re-engineering of my thought patters, beliefs and behaviours. Without knowing it at the time, I actually used precise measurement and analysis to drive my permanent lifestyle change.

For a period of 100+ days, I tracked almost every single activity I performed in a day. This included everything from work, to checking Facebook (back when nobody knew Facebook), to grocery shopping. What this allowed me to do was evaluate my actions and focus more time and energy on activities that ultimately moved me towards my goal of being an independent entrepreneur.

If I engaged in a goal-destroying activity (like watching TV instead of working on my new business), I had to write it down on my activity list. Of course, I didn’t want to write these destructive activities down so my “list” became my control mechanism. Instead of discipline and wishful thinking, I had a practical, tangible solution to changing my life.

In hindsight, I now realize that this simple system can be used to activate any change you want in your life. From losing weight to increasing productivity to improving relationships, measure the activities and instantly bring a new awareness that provokes positive change.

Your task. Go to the dollar store, buy a simple 3-subject notebook and begin tracking “some” data that is impacting your life. It could be a food/exercise journal, it could be a list of all “time wasters” that are hurting your success. Make sure you have a specific goal in mind and then track your improvements as you track your activities. The small changes in numbers will have a large impact on your life.

Listen to your voice

You need a 7 Day BrainwashThere are more than enough personal development books that talk about the power of affirmations. I am not here to argue the validity or the science behind affirmations. What I will say is that from my own personal experiences, when you repeat a set of instructions to yourself over and over again, you eventually start to believe your own voice.

Here is a quick process you can follow to create your own digital affirmations that you can use in your own brainwashing process.

– Write out a description of your ideal outcomes in all the various areas of your life. This can include business, financial, relationship, health, etc…

– Record your voice reading these statements with as much feeling and belief as possible.

– Use software like Garageband to overlay some relaxing or new age style music faintly in the background

– Export as an mp3 file and listen to it on low volumes as you work, exercise, sleep or during any activity where you feel it works for you

For the analytic people out there, you cannot measure the benefit of this exercise directly but I will say from personal experience that it has been a technique I have used to help achieve a number of my more difficult longer term goals.

Motivate Yourself For Success

You need a 7 Day BrainwashDid you see the Beijing Olympics, the World Cup Soccer or Wimbledon this year? Rarely are we privileged to witness such triumph and human spirit at its absolute best.

How did all those athletes get motivated, especially the gold medalists and the winners?

Was it the thought of the gold medal itself that kept them running, jumping, swimming or facing whatever feat of endurance that will write them into the history books?

Well, perhaps. But we know that what we saw them all do was the end of very, very long journeys for those incredibly motivated men and women.

Along the way, most of them will have faced failures, challenges such as injuries or changes in their personal lives, and there will for many of them I am sure, have been times when they lost heart and just believed they could not succeed.

We all know this. Most of us don’t even aspire to be Olympic athletes, but we each do have our dreams – for our businesses, our families, our relationships and ourselves.

Who wants to write a novel? Who’d like to perform their own song or play? Who wants to be a millionaire?

The journeys to dreams are rarely straightforward or without challenge. If they were, they’d hardly be worth having. The glory of an Olympic gold medal is precisely because it’s extraordinarily difficult to earn one. If they were handed out like candy at a kids birthday party, no one would have the slightest interest in a gold medal or gold medallist!

However, the biggest challenge isn’t with the feat of endurance – it’s with your own mind. You have to believe that you can do whatever it is, and in those moments when doubt creeps in, at those dark times when you lose heart, you have to know how to get back on track – fast!

Your coach, if you have one, can be a great help. Family and friends will rally round to support you. But ultimately it’s down to you. If you keep shaking your head saying, “I can’t do it. I can’t, I can’t,” eventually even your coach will leave you behind – and they’ll find someone else who believes they can!

Masters of Success know this. They know how to recognize the signs and symptoms of self doubt. More than that, they know how re-ignite the flame of desire for the goal, and fan that flame into a fervour that drives them – with passion – to keep going. That flame eventually becomes their personal blaze of glory.

Stay motivated. It sounds simple, but unless you know how to follow that instruction, it’s as daft as saying to someone who’s stressed, “Try to relax.” (What do you suppose they’ve been doing?)

Success comes from within. Motivation is a major component of any kind of success.

Going for gold?

See you at the top!

Self Motivation – Why Being Realistic Won’t Achieve Your Goals

You need a 7 Day BrainwashI’d like to introduce you to “Jo.” You might know her.

Jo had a happy childhood. Her great passion was singing.

But her parents cautioned her. “Be realistic. Get a proper job,” her father said. Her mother thought that finding a nice man might be better. Because Jo loved and respected her parents, she thought they might have a point. She began to doubt her dream of singing, and thought it might be a childish whim.

When Jo was eighteen she left school and decided she should at least have a go achieving her goal of becoming a professional singer.

Three years went by, but her big break never came. One evening, at a party, she got chatting to a woman in her forties.

She told Jo that she once wanted to be a singing star too. She told her how she had tried everything to break into the big time – even once sleeping with her agent. “Get real, honey,” the woman cooed. “You won’t achieve your goal. It’s a dream. Forget about it. We all do.” Jo could feel her heart sinking.

She met more people over the coming months like the woman at the party. Soon, it seemed that everyone she met had once had a dream and had given up on it. Achieving goals, she concluded, was mostly a matter of luck that happened to a very few people. She didn’t feel lucky any more.

Jo married a dull but nice man, and within a couple of years they had children. When her daughter was ten she said to Jo, “Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a singer.” That’s when Jo cried.

How many Jo’s do you know? She’s fictitious, but there are millions like her who gave up on their dreams because they believed achieving their goals were out of reach.

What is missing from this story is the one vital fact that Jo overlooked. She forgot to notice that in every walk of life people succeed! There is a tendency to think that “being realistic” means noticing what happens to the majority and giving up just like they did.

Your focus is what matters. Look or listen to those who gave up and you’ll likely join them and the burgeoning army of those who say that life is a struggle. Those people are not happy. They are in jobs they dislike or loathe, drive cars that bore them and often they are stuck in relationships with people they no longer like, love or respect. That’s because they no longer like, love or respect themselves! How could they? And more to the point, why would you want them as role models? Join them, and your goal becomes getting others to join them too. It’s how misery spreads!

But focus on the successes and you’ll see that, by and large, they’re not only happy at the top, but they enjoyed (most of) the journey to get there. Enjoying each day is surely what life is about! That, above all else, should surely be your goal!

It’s not too late for you. If you still have a dream in your heart you can achieve it. The only thing that holds you back is your belief that you can’t.

The law of attraction first steps

You need a 7 Day BrainwashYou may want to practice by first trying to manifest something small, such as a parking space. Next time you need to park somewhere where parking is limited, try this.

First, think of something that brings you strong emotions and feelings of happiness, such as a relationship, special memory or your pet. Keep thinking about it until you can feel the joy of it spread throughout your entire body. Use your senses- imagine what it feels like, sounds like, smells like etc.

Now, in your truly happy state, visualize what it is you want to manifest and see it as if you already have it- see yourself parking your car in the space you want to manifest, feel the satisfaction of knowing you don’t have a long walk to your destination, imagine yourself leaving your car, knowing it is perfectly safe. The more vividly you can imagine it and the more positive you feel whilst doing so, the more powerful this exercise will be.

When you have held this feeling for several seconds- you will be able to hold this longer with practice- say out loud I am so happy and grateful now that ‘ and fill in your intention, for example I am so happy and grateful now that I have parked my car in the space of my choice’.

Now release it to the universe and forget about parking. You must trust that the universe will deliver your intention to you- don’t let doubts creep in and start to question it as all you will achieve is to push it away.

This is the basics for attracting anything into your life. A simple intention such as a parking space should manifest relatively quickly, but for more complex intentions, such as a new car, you will need to allow a lot more time.