In the United States, heart diseases cause almost half of all deaths every year, twice as many as cancer. Emotions have deep and direct relation with the heart and it is common fact that stress is a bad influence. Little that people know is the negative effects of anger and the lack of emotional support from other people in the life of a person. In this article, we will talk about anger and how you can control it to avoid serious consequences.
There are a lot of article regarding anger and it is always associated with depression. These are very broad topics but for the purpose of this article we will include them and talk about the negative effects of anger on the aspect of physical health, psychological health, and environmental health.
How many times do you multi-task throughout the day? Your workplace might love your ability to write a letter, answer the phone and still manage to train someone within their role all at the same time but this isn’t doing you any good at all, not if you continue this multi-tasking practice continuously.
What about when you are at home? Do you find yourself cooking dinner and watching TV or listening to the radio? Is your mind constantly buzzing with uncompleted tasks? Do you plan your workload for the next day whilst you are peeling the potatoes for dinner? Do you find yourself doing general housework or gardening and talking and listening to your partner all at the same time?
It’s good to be efficient but in reality, you are probably only working at a fraction of your potential because you will be distracted and your mind will flit from one thing to another. It’s important to be mindful of your situation. Meditation will help you to slow your mind down and to live more in the moment. Consider a time when you were about to do something a little dangerous or try to recall a time when you needed the ultimate in concentration, your mind automatically slows down and you focus on the task at hand and this is important.
If you take up yoga for example, the process works the same. Okay, you are not doing anything dangerous, but you have to learn the postures, understand which muscles groups and organs that you are affecting, feel the stretch and learn to respect your body as you move into the postures and hold them.
These are powerful and yet gentle postures that need you to be mindful’ and they work. Of course there are other mindful’ hobbies too such as painting or pottery for example.
There are several natural laws by which we are all bound, and the law of attraction is just one of these. These laws definitely exist- you can see the law of gravity (another natural law) in action every time you drop something and watch it fall to the floor!
The law of attraction works by making sure that what is brought into your life matches the thoughts and energy you are sending out. Everything in the universe is made of energy- including us. Everything you can see is made up of different configurations of energy. If you were to look at your hand through a powerful enough telescope, you would see that your hand is not actually a solid object but made up of countless tiny atoms. These atoms are never static, but are in a constant state of motion. You are constantly radiating this energy out to the universe in the form of thoughts (which are also made up of energy), and the type of energy sent out depends on your emotional state at that particular time. These emotional thought energies are known as vibrations’ and automatically attract back to us anything that is on the same vibrational frequency. Put simply, your emotions and thought determine what you are attracting. You become a magnet, attracting whatever you think about, especially if you attach emotion to the thought.
Energy vibrates at different frequencies, and the things you attract into your life are vibrating at the same frequency as your thoughts. Thoughts such as love, excitement and abundance vibrate at higher frequencies which will attract more of these things to you, whereas thoughts such as stress, anger and confusion vibrate at lower frequencies which will attract more of them into your life.
For example, if you are constantly feeling anxious because your car needs repairs and you have some large bills due which you don’t know how you will pay, the thought vibrations you are giving out will attract back to you things on a similar frequency; for example you will receive more things to feel anxious about- you may get more bills or your washing machine may develop a fault.
On the other hand, if you are feeling good about yourself and happy with life then the thought vibrations you are giving out will attract more reasons for you to feel good and happy with your life.
Just as the law of gravity is always working, the law of attraction is also always working, even though we are not always aware of it. Everything we currently have in our lives right now is what we attracted- whether it is poor relationships, ill health or lack of money. Even the clothes you wear and the car you drive- your thoughts attracted them whether you were aware of this or not. Although this may seem a little depressing, it is actually quite empowering! How? Well, if you unconsciously attracted things you didn’t want into your life, now that you know about the law of attraction and how it works, you can start deliberately attracting the things you do want!
We’ve all been there at some point in our life. Everything seems to be moving along smoothly when something suddenly happens; a challenge, a barrier, a crisis. These events can range anywhere from being mildly inconvenient to downright terrible and sometimes devastating. When situations like this arise, we all have ultimately one choice to make how we will choose to respond.
When you boil it down, that is really how our entire life unfolds. We are making a never ending series of choices about how we will interact with the events and circumstances surrounding us. Many of these choices occur unconsciously as part of our conditioned behaviour patterns. Understanding that we always retain the power and the right to make a conscious choice about our reactions is where we can transform challenges into opportunities.
Consider the idea of personal perception. Every person observes and interprets the world around them from a unique vantage point. I remember very clearly an incident about 5 years ago when I was having lunch on a restaurant patio with a few of my colleagues. The patio was next to a very busy street. About 20 minutes into our meal, we were all startled by a large crash followed by an excitable YELP sound. As I turned in my seat to examine the incident, we saw a new sports car t-boned by an older sedan. Fortunately, the collision had taken place at a relatively slow speed so there were no injuries, just two very upset drivers. The YELP sound had come from a tow truck driver who had been parked literally across the street. He was so excited that an accident had occurred right in front of his truck meaning he would be the first tow provider on the scene. Talk about drastically opposing perspectives! These two unfortunate drivers were caught up in a very unpleasant experience while the tow truck entrepreneur had his latest gig essentially fall into his lap.
What’s most interesting about this example is that it illustrates to me that the world around us simply exists, nothing more, nothing less. It is not until we apply our personal perception along with all of our expectations and beliefs, that events become positive or negative. Since we are creative by nature and always have 100% control over our thoughts, we can then choose to seek out the positives in life. When something happens to us that initially appears to be negative, we have an opportunity to reject our habitual reaction and create a new, more empowering belief about that event.
I have personally made a habit of this type of mentality and I continue to develop this capability with every passing day. I am becoming someone who can cherish the tough times. When adversity strikes, I am often able to control my attitude and remain focused on the positive rather than being consumed by the apparent misfortune. I then remind myself of Robert Collier’s quote, “In every adversity there lies the seed of an equivalent advantage.”
Dustin Carter is no stranger to adversity. We recently featured his YouTube video on the Ignite Your Essence website. Dustin was diagnosed with a rare blood disorder at age 5. The doctors were forced to amputate the majority of all of his limbs. Despite his obvious challenges, Dustin is now a top student wrestler working towards a full wrestling scholarship. He is a tremendous inspiration to everyone who meets him and he gives hope to others who may be facing physical challenges.
Many successful entrepreneurs have been able to transform challenging life situations into business building opportunities. One of the best examples of this is Robert Allen. His book, Nothing Down: How to Buy Real Estate with Little or No Money Down, went to the top of the New York Times Best-Seller list after a controversial ad he ran to promote it. In the ad, Allen claimed that you could take him to any city, take his wallet away, give him $100 and he could buy a piece of real estate. After Allen’s book had achieved great success, a reporter from the LA Times challenged his claim in the ad and called him a fraud. In order to prove himself, Allen was forced to take the challenge and prove he could actually achieve the feat. Not knowing if he would actually be able to pull it off, Robert Allen began to worry and realized that he would be professionally ruined if he was not able to deliver. In a formally arranged meeting, the reporter met Allen in San Francisco, took his wallet and gave him $100. With his name and credibility on the line, Allen took the $100 and purchased 7 properties worth $700,000 in a 57 hour window. Needless to say, he went on to achieve enormous success in his career.
How would your life change if you were able to transform a negative event into a positive experience? What kind of results could you produce if you learned to embrace adversity and treat it as an opportunity for growth? Regardless of the nature of the challenge you are facing, decide to become the kind of person who embodies this philosophy and you will most assuredly begin to produce incredible things in your life while providing inspiration to those around you!
studies that have been conducted on the habit of “willpower” as being an important predictor of success in life.
In general, people who exercise more self control (in all different types of situations) are more likely to produce better results in life, health, family, business, and so on.
Many of the studies actually show that a person’s willpower acts like a muscle that can be developed and strengthened with practice. Here are some suggested activities you can try to strengthen your own willpower or self-control “muscles”…
1. Try brushing your teeth with the opposite hand. It might start off feeling very awkward, but as you work on the habit, you improve your ability while increasing your self control.
2. Change your reactions. For example, if you have the habit of reacting with anger when something doesn’t go your way, choose to practice changing your reaction to something more positive. Each experience creates the new habit and reinforces your willpower muscles.
3. Read or listen to books about personal development daily (ideally at the same time each day). The more you analyze your habits and behaviours, the more you will see opportunities for change and improvement.
4. Replace every drink with water. This is a great habit for anyone who wants to improve their health. If you normally have a pop, coffee or juice, make the conscious decision to replace it with water. Each choice strengthens your self control muscles and contributes to better health.
5. Practice proper breathing. As often as possible throughout the day, focus on deep breathing into your diaphragm rather than short breaths that often come as a result of stress.
6. Adjust your posture. By repeatedly correcting your posture, you not only improve the health of your body (and particularly your spine), you also create an opportunity to form a new habit that comes from the development of your willpower.
These are just a few examples that you can use and adapt into your own self-control regimen. The key is to find activities that are important to you and will move you towards some specific goal you have in your life.
Another important aspect to keep in mind is the enjoyment factor. If you are working on your willpower strength but the entire time, you feel like it is punishment or painful, the chance of you maintaining your new habit is slim.
So take some time today to think of some new activities you can build into your life that help you build your willpower and self control. Remember to have fun with it, see it as a tool to help you become more successful and don’t forget to forgive yourself if you happen to sway off track once in a while.
Almost every person who has ever achieved their dream or a major life goal has, at some point, had to face fear. Fear is an inevitable component of personal growth. What’s most important to understand is that fear does not have to paralyze you or prevent you from experiencing the fullness of life.
Why must we face our fears?
In order to achieve anything new in life, we must be willing to change our actions so that we can produce new and improved results. But any time we introduce change into our life, we move out of our comfort zone and the by-product is typically some form of fear.
If we do not understand what fear is and why we experience it, our natural reaction would be to retreat from the new, uncomfortable change and revert back to our comfort zone. When this happens, many people become stuck.
If you want to liberate yourself from the shackles of fear and step into new and exciting places in your life, your journey must begin with awareness. You must become aware of what fear truly is so that you can identify it and ultimately move through it.
The first thing you should take into account is that fear is a reaction that the brain produces when it senses pending danger. It is actually a very beneficial emotion because it keeps us alive in a potentially dangerous situation. Unfortunately, over the years, we have been conditioned to associate fear with other, non-life threatening events.
For example, you may be driving along the highway when someone swerves and cuts you off. You quickly hit the brakes and avoid a collision. At the time of the incident, the physical sensations in your body could be extremely powerful (pounding heart, shaky hands, knees knocking, etc…). When it comes to personal fears, if you are afraid of public speaking, you may experience the exact same physical effects when you walk to the front of a board room to deliver a presentation.
What’s the difference? One situation could mean physical harm or even death. The other situation, at the VERY worst, would result in some short-lived embarrassment. While the two situations are poles apart in terms of consequence severity, our body reaction is almost identical!
So when you really boil it down, it is not so much the fear that stops people, it is the physical feelings produced by fear.
With this new awareness, you are now in a position to take bigger actions and play full out, in any area of your life. As Susan Jeffers points out in her best seller, you can “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.” Why? Because you understand exactly what is happening and you ACCEPT that is a completely normal reaction!
Don’t worry about eliminating fear, just focus on taking necessary actions towards your goals and dreams in SPITE of fear.
Such pearls of wisdom are lost, aren’t they, unless they have some personal meaning?
Then yesterday I got upset with someone I’m very close to. I mean angry and hurt. In my heart of hearts I knew I wasn’t being rational or constructive, but in the heat of the moment it didn’t matter. I was right, darn it!
And then, as so often happens when you just release for a while, the answer fluttered in. That quote reverberated round my brain for a while, and then I asked myself, “Well, in that case, I’m either performing an act of love or a cry for help. This surely doesn’t feel loving, so what is it I want help with?”
As if by magic the pieces dropped into place. I went to this person and said, “Listen. I need your help. I need not to feel like this. I know your behaviour wasn’t intended to hurt me, so I must have made up the hurt myself. But I’m kinda playing this loop tape in my head that you didn’t put there, but once I started it, for a while, it’s all I can hear.”
We reached a loving understanding in less than ten minutes. We are closer, bigger inside and enriched.
So here’s my tip for now, for this day and for always. If there’s anyone you’re upset with, even if it’s an old upset, ask yourself, “What is it I need help with?” And then humbly and sincerely ask them for your help. Do it with your palms up and your head high, for you are bigger than your anger, and love and friendship are more important than your ego.
This past month, my wife and I have started sending our 2 sons to public daycare. The 1 year old is too young to understand what is going on so he is always happy to be there. The 3 year old, on the other hand, has been having a very difficult time in the mornings. As soon as we get in the car, he starts crying and it gets progressively more intense as we get closer to the daycare. By the time we are in his classroom, he is in a near panic, screaming and drawing intense stares from the other parents and staff. Within seconds of me leaving, he completely calms down and gets absorbed with some fun new activity that he would not have been able to experience at home.
Witnessing this really drove home a new realization for me. We all have the ability to experience happiness (or any other positive emotion for that matter) at any time we choose to do so. The advantage with children is that they let go very quickly and have a much easier time living in the moment.
I started thinking more about how most adults handle these kinds of situations, myself included, and in the majority of cases it takes a much longer time to move from a depressed state to one of positivity and happiness.
I can think of many times in my life where I spent an entire day in a negative state carrying around a grudge about something that happened many hours (or even days) prior. At the time, I didn’t even realize that I had control over the situation. Complete victim mentality.
Having spent a number of years working on my own personal development, I now experience far more happy and positive moments than negative ones. But I think it is only human to have times when the doom and gloom creeps in. My new strategy when dealing with these circumstances is to literally think like a 3 year old.
As an example, a few weeks ago I was expecting payment from a client with whom I made an agreement to offer a monthly payment plan. This was something I did more as a favor than a standard policy. When the client ignored my first, then second payment request, I felt myself becoming extremely frustrated. In the past, an event like this might have soured my mood, and in turn my productivity for the entire day (if not longer). I used the opportunity to literally picture myself as the 3 year old easily moving from one moment of devastation to a brand new moment of fun and opportunity. Instead of picking up a coloring book or a new toy fire truck, I picked up my laptop and began working on an exciting new project that I was involved in. My mood shifted immediately. I then took it up a notch with some inspiring music and before I knew it I was feeling amazing and very excited about my day.
I have still not been paid by that client but I’m okay with that now. The new project that I got involved in has already more than paid for the unpaid bill from my deficient client and I’m having a lot more fun with what I’m doing now.
Next time you are feeling overwhelmed by negativity, frustration, anger or depression, try remembering what it was like as a kid when you could experience pure happiness at any moment you chose to do so!
Because stress can be endured over a period of time without the individual truly becoming aware of it or by them simply accepting it as part of their lives, one of the most important aspects of stress management is to take those first positive steps towards making key changes as this will then create the strong foundations that are required to master stress control.
It’s important that progression is consistent throughout; they may be small steps individually but they are powerful ones nevertheless. The idea is to change any existing behaviours and to stress-proof new routines as much as possible, re-inventing both thought and actions going forward. This might sound difficult, but the most difficult aspect is always going to be identifying areas of change, after that, it is merely consolidating those lifestyle changes.
When life is muddled and very stressful, identifying the stress triggers that cause the problems will make changing them that much easier. Taking a pen and paper, write down all of the things that cause the most stress.
– No time to yourself
– Problems with the teenage son or daughter
– Money problems- more going out than coming in
– Feeling undervalued at home and at work
– Too much work
The list should be as comprehensive as possible and very honest. No-one else has to see the list and even those annoying little stressors should be captured because although on their own, they may just be a source of irritation, coupled with other factors, they can form powerful stress triggers that can cause much damage physically, healthily and emotionally.
Once the list is complete, it should be scrutinized with a sense of clarity to identify those areas where changes could be made. If necessary break the list down into a series of sub-sections and options such as:
– Feeling undervalued at home
– Having to do all of the housework as well as work full-time
– Main culprit Husband/Wife step-son
– Started happening when partner changed job and worked a lot more hours (pattern established).
– Open up communication to partner
– Discuss jointly with step son and work out parameters
– Stick to it.
By writing down everything that evokes a stress response i.e. churning feeling in the stomach, headaches, tears, anger, or irritability for example, the individual is able to really understand what is going on in their lives and why they feel the way they do. In addition, this clarification of stress triggers helps the individual to face any set of real problems and tangible problems can always be overcome.
Self doubts, irregular thought patterns and feelings of inadequacies or helplessness are more difficult to fight. Ascertain the true cause of those stressors and deal with them one by one.