Self Motivation – Why Being Realistic Won’t Achieve Your Goals

You need a 7 Day BrainwashI’d like to introduce you to “Jo.” You might know her.

Jo had a happy childhood. Her great passion was singing.

But her parents cautioned her. “Be realistic. Get a proper job,” her father said. Her mother thought that finding a nice man might be better. Because Jo loved and respected her parents, she thought they might have a point. She began to doubt her dream of singing, and thought it might be a childish whim.

When Jo was eighteen she left school and decided she should at least have a go achieving her goal of becoming a professional singer.

Three years went by, but her big break never came. One evening, at a party, she got chatting to a woman in her forties.

She told Jo that she once wanted to be a singing star too. She told her how she had tried everything to break into the big time – even once sleeping with her agent. “Get real, honey,” the woman cooed. “You won’t achieve your goal. It’s a dream. Forget about it. We all do.” Jo could feel her heart sinking.

She met more people over the coming months like the woman at the party. Soon, it seemed that everyone she met had once had a dream and had given up on it. Achieving goals, she concluded, was mostly a matter of luck that happened to a very few people. She didn’t feel lucky any more.

Jo married a dull but nice man, and within a couple of years they had children. When her daughter was ten she said to Jo, “Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a singer.” That’s when Jo cried.

How many Jo’s do you know? She’s fictitious, but there are millions like her who gave up on their dreams because they believed achieving their goals were out of reach.

What is missing from this story is the one vital fact that Jo overlooked. She forgot to notice that in every walk of life people succeed! There is a tendency to think that “being realistic” means noticing what happens to the majority and giving up just like they did.

Your focus is what matters. Look or listen to those who gave up and you’ll likely join them and the burgeoning army of those who say that life is a struggle. Those people are not happy. They are in jobs they dislike or loathe, drive cars that bore them and often they are stuck in relationships with people they no longer like, love or respect. That’s because they no longer like, love or respect themselves! How could they? And more to the point, why would you want them as role models? Join them, and your goal becomes getting others to join them too. It’s how misery spreads!

But focus on the successes and you’ll see that, by and large, they’re not only happy at the top, but they enjoyed (most of) the journey to get there. Enjoying each day is surely what life is about! That, above all else, should surely be your goal!

It’s not too late for you. If you still have a dream in your heart you can achieve it. The only thing that holds you back is your belief that you can’t.

Cherish The People In Your Life

You need a 7 Day BrainwashWhen you take a moment to really listen to another person, hear their story and connect with them, it can be an amazing experience. The problem in today’s world is we are all moving at an extremely rapid pace and it can be difficult to find time to have a good conversation with someone new.

I was recently at a business networking event where there were maybe 50 other business owners and sales people in the room. As I walked around, I saw a lot of fast paced talking and most of the conversation was “surface level” discussion at best. Most people were waiting for their chance to talk at the other person rather than listening and being engaged in the dialog. Part of the issue was this type of event can be rushed and that alone can hurt the quality of conversation. But this was not the first time I had witnessed this and I began reflecting on the number of times I had done the same.

Up until recently, I had been very focused on business and just being productive in general that I was missing out on opportunities all around me. If someone new would cross my path at a coffee shop or at the gym, I would do my best to avoid the person because I was in a rush. In some cases, the person was actually trying to strike up a conversation but I wanted no part of it. In hindsight, the reason I was doing it was because I was making a snap judgment (usually based on something superficial like the age of the person) that a conversation with this person would be more work than it was worth.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting at a coffee shop very early in the morning tucked away in a corner with my laptop trying to get some writing done. About 30 minutes after I sat down, an older gentleman probably in his late 70s put his bag down in the chair next to me and went up to buy his coffee. Right away I felt myself get annoyed and was about to pack up my bag and move to another coffee shop when the man quickly reappeared and asked me what I was working on. For some reason, I changed in that moment and I felt compelled to answer his question and actually use the opportunity to make a new friend. A minute later I closed my laptop and spent the next hour having a great conversation with this interesting guy. He shared some amazing stories about his travels through Europe and his plans for the future.

The conversation totally changed my day and ultimately the way I looked at other people in general. Everyone has a story to tell and if we spend even a few moments to take some genuine interest, we are bound to find something amazing in every person we meet.

Hang out with an influencer

You need a 7 Day BrainwashI think most people buy into the idea that we become a product of our environment. What better way to brainwash yourself to become better than spending time with someone who inspires you. When I first got started in business, I was struggling to pay the bills and find enough clients to keep me going. Even when I did find clients, I did a terrible job billing for my time and I was not recognizing my own value as a service provider.

I was then lucky enough to meet another business owner who had built a number of successful companies and had already been through all of the tough business lessons that I had yet to be exposed to. Over time we became friends and I was able to absorb an incredible amount of information about business, mindset, dealing with clients, social skills, etc… all of the things that made him so talented at business.

The challenge here is that you can’t just walk up to someone and ask them to be your friend. It is tough enough to find the influencer types but when you do, you have to make sure that you take interest in them and express your desire to learn from them. At the same time, show them that you value their time and bring something of your own to the table. If they feel they can also learn from you and your life experiences, they will be far more willing to hang out with you.

Can you believe it?

You need a 7 Day BrainwashI’m always fascinated when I read stories or case studies about “the placebo effect”. The typical scenario has a group of people being given a sugar pill but they BELIEVE the treatment is real. Often these people recover as well, or even better than those who received the actual treatment.

The explanation of this phenomenon basically comes down to the fact that the patient believed the treatment was real, and it was the belief that caused the positive result.

I’m sure you would agree that people always act and respond based on what they believe to be true. For example, if you believed you saw a bear in the forest, you would likely react with fear. If the bear turned out to be a person dressed in a bear costume, you would still react with just as much fear until you were told the “real” truth. Once you were aware that the bear was not real, you believed a new reality and your response would change drastically.

Well this process can be applied to pretty much any area of life.

Most often, I think about this process when it comes to achieving a goal that is well beyond anything you have accomplished before. It is very difficult to believe that you are capable of achieving something so foreign to your current life results.

For example, if you are terrified of speaking in front of a small group, it is next to impossible to believe that you would be capable of delivering a powerful speech to a large audience. However, if you spent 30 days reading, studying and even speaking to people who overcame your exact situation to become powerful speakers, you would quickly create the belief that this was also possible for you.

Once you had truly convinced your mind that you were also capable of being a speaker, your actions would follow suit. You would take speaker training, you would participate in speaking engagements, you would join public speaking clubs and you would likely do anything else that moved you towards the goal.

But all of these actions were governed by the fact that you believed you were capable.

So here is the real question. Do you have certain goals or ideas that you may have been rejecting because you simply did not believe you were capable?

If so, it is very likely that you formed this belief by default without ever really asking yourself if it was possible. Well now is your chance to start changing that belief. Look for other people who have done what you want to do and study them. Realize that it is very likely possible for you too. Change your beliefs and in turn, change your actions. Change your actions and you have a new life!

A Child’s Perspective

You need a 7 Day BrainwashThis past month, my wife and I have started sending our 2 sons to public daycare. The 1 year old is too young to understand what is going on so he is always happy to be there. The 3 year old, on the other hand, has been having a very difficult time in the mornings. As soon as we get in the car, he starts crying and it gets progressively more intense as we get closer to the daycare. By the time we are in his classroom, he is in a near panic, screaming and drawing intense stares from the other parents and staff. Within seconds of me leaving, he completely calms down and gets absorbed with some fun new activity that he would not have been able to experience at home.

Witnessing this really drove home a new realization for me. We all have the ability to experience happiness (or any other positive emotion for that matter) at any time we choose to do so. The advantage with children is that they let go very quickly and have a much easier time living in the moment.

I started thinking more about how most adults handle these kinds of situations, myself included, and in the majority of cases it takes a much longer time to move from a depressed state to one of positivity and happiness.

I can think of many times in my life where I spent an entire day in a negative state carrying around a grudge about something that happened many hours (or even days) prior. At the time, I didn’t even realize that I had control over the situation. Complete victim mentality.

Having spent a number of years working on my own personal development, I now experience far more happy and positive moments than negative ones. But I think it is only human to have times when the doom and gloom creeps in. My new strategy when dealing with these circumstances is to literally think like a 3 year old.

As an example, a few weeks ago I was expecting payment from a client with whom I made an agreement to offer a monthly payment plan. This was something I did more as a favor than a standard policy. When the client ignored my first, then second payment request, I felt myself becoming extremely frustrated. In the past, an event like this might have soured my mood, and in turn my productivity for the entire day (if not longer). I used the opportunity to literally picture myself as the 3 year old easily moving from one moment of devastation to a brand new moment of fun and opportunity. Instead of picking up a coloring book or a new toy fire truck, I picked up my laptop and began working on an exciting new project that I was involved in. My mood shifted immediately. I then took it up a notch with some inspiring music and before I knew it I was feeling amazing and very excited about my day.

I have still not been paid by that client but I’m okay with that now. The new project that I got involved in has already more than paid for the unpaid bill from my deficient client and I’m having a lot more fun with what I’m doing now.

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed by negativity, frustration, anger or depression, try remembering what it was like as a kid when you could experience pure happiness at any moment you chose to do so!

Get motivated with these tips

You need a 7 Day BrainwashThere is no “failure” per se but rather, a choice. Do we choose to draft new plans and keep going? Or do we give up on the idea and move on.

You can do it… you just need to persist. And sometimes that persistence will be the only thing to keep you going.

Take a few minutes to really contemplate this question… “Does your life have meaning?”

Are you creating something that makes you come alive and gives you that meaning we have been talking about?

Realize that anything you want to do CAN BE DONE just where you stand right now. One little action is all it takes.

Some people view life as a set of choices with varying degrees of risk. They then make choices based on risk mitigation rather than gains.

The truth is, if you want to make the most of your life and really experience everything you truly desire, you have no choice but to RISK.

Use today to focus on powerful goals and the powerful actions that you can be taking to advance towards those goals.

Focus on the win and accept the risk as the price you pay for the dream. Will it be worth it? You better believe it.

I want to challenge you today. Make your entire focus about exuding the energy that you want to attract into your life.

We can choose to react to life. Or we can choose to respond to life.

Do you know what triggers your stress?

You need a 7 Day BrainwashBecause stress can be endured over a period of time without the individual truly becoming aware of it or by them simply accepting it as part of their lives, one of the most important aspects of stress management is to take those first positive steps towards making key changes as this will then create the strong foundations that are required to master stress control.

It’s important that progression is consistent throughout; they may be small steps individually but they are powerful ones nevertheless. The idea is to change any existing behaviours and to stress-proof new routines as much as possible, re-inventing both thought and actions going forward. This might sound difficult, but the most difficult aspect is always going to be identifying areas of change, after that, it is merely consolidating those lifestyle changes.

When life is muddled and very stressful, identifying the stress triggers that cause the problems will make changing them that much easier. Taking a pen and paper, write down all of the things that cause the most stress.

– No time to yourself

– Problems with the teenage son or daughter

– Money problems- more going out than coming in

– Feeling undervalued at home and at work

– Too much work

The list should be as comprehensive as possible and very honest. No-one else has to see the list and even those annoying little stressors should be captured because although on their own, they may just be a source of irritation, coupled with other factors, they can form powerful stress triggers that can cause much damage physically, healthily and emotionally.

Once the list is complete, it should be scrutinized with a sense of clarity to identify those areas where changes could be made. If necessary break the list down into a series of sub-sections and options such as:

– Feeling undervalued at home

– Having to do all of the housework as well as work full-time

– Main culprit Husband/Wife step-son

– Started happening when partner changed job and worked a lot more hours (pattern established).

Options

– Open up communication to partner

– Discuss jointly with step son and work out parameters

– Stick to it.

By writing down everything that evokes a stress response i.e. churning feeling in the stomach, headaches, tears, anger, or irritability for example, the individual is able to really understand what is going on in their lives and why they feel the way they do. In addition, this clarification of stress triggers helps the individual to face any set of real problems and tangible problems can always be overcome.

Self doubts, irregular thought patterns and feelings of inadequacies or helplessness are more difficult to fight. Ascertain the true cause of those stressors and deal with them one by one.

Using the Law of Attraction with Love and Family

You need a 7 Day BrainwashThere are two parts of their life which people generally want to change; their work environment and the relationships which they have with their families and their significant others. Can the law of attraction help to strengthen and heal your relationships with others?

The answer is, of course! The people you love are governed by the same ebb and flow of energy as you yourself are, and as such their energies will naturally be attracted to similar energies which are being emitted from another person. If you are vibrating positive energies and emotions they will respond in kind. They will not be able to help themselves; it is the law of attraction at work.

With family there is already a subliminal bond which will help you to improve your relationship right from the very beginning. There are many reasons why family members may find themselves at odds with each other; it is not necessarily a pre-requisite that you like the people you love, and for families who often find themselves in each other’s back pockets and competing for common resources the fights can become quite vicious.

Regardless of the reasons you and your family may have had for falling out it is never good to leave relationships festering. You need to fix them or they will eventually have an impact on the emotional thought vibrations you are giving out, which may start to attract other bad relationships, with colleagues and customers. In order to fix a relationship that has been broken you must first really want to fix it, and then believe that it will happen.

It is very easy to tell the other person that you want to mend your relationships when in reality you continue to carry the resentment that you feel towards them. If you do, you don’t really want to mend your relationship, or if you do you have not yet let go of what has caused the separation in the first place.

Letting go of your resentment is an essential ingredient in finding harmony, for in order for the law of attraction to be able to work you must first rid yourself of all of the negative thought energy you have been sending towards them so far. It is important that you accept the fact that you can forgive and forget, allowing the two of you to move on with your life with a much happier relationship than you have experienced to date.

The process of attracting a significant other is much the same; however, in order for the law of attraction to be able to attract them to you, you must be very specific when making your request to the universe regarding exactly what it is that you are looking for in a relationship.

Remember, the law of attraction means that your subconscious mind is going to be drawn to their subconscious mind. Focus on the kind of values you wish for your perfect partner to possess, the type of relationship that you are looking to share with them (do you want to get married, date casually, etc) as well as personality traits which you feel are especially important. Then allow yourself to believe that you are going to find them.

The last step here is the most important. The belief that a relationship with the person of your dreams is beyond your reach is going to result in you being absolutely correct and pushing this relationship away. Remind yourself that every day hundreds of men and women are building a life with the person of their dreams; there is absolutely no reason why you cannot.

It is essential that once you have placed a request for a significant other with the universe that you are willing to have patience for the desired results to occur. The universe is not always going to give you exactly what you want, exactly when you want it. It does things in its own time.

Now, imagine that you have asked the universe to give you the man or woman of your dreams, but you become impatient because they have not yet become a part of your life within a few months of making the request. You begin to date someone else, and that someone else begins to occupy your mind and your attentions until they are all that you see. They are not the person which you asked the universe for, however; they are simply someone intended to fill the time until that person arrives.

Over the course of time that you are dating this other individual, however, you have become acquainted with quite a lot of new people. These new people are shadows passing in and out of your life because they are not this new person whom you have begun to date. What would you do if the person you had been waiting for was among that number? What if they had come looking for you, but you did not recognize them because you were so busy trying to keep yourself busy until they got there?

It is essential that you do not close either your mind or your heart to the universe because of external distractions; this is the most fatal mistake you could make, because it means that you have lost faith in the ability of the vibrational energies of your mind to interact with the vibrational energies of nature to bring you your desired results, and the negative energies generated from these thoughts will result in the person of your dreams walking away from you before you even knew they were there.

Have you found inner peace?

You need a 7 Day BrainwashYou know how it is when you hear about some terrible disaster on the news and you kind of step back from it? You weren’t there, you don’t know these people. You hear it, you see it, but you can’t relate to it, because quite frankly it would be just too painful. Know what I’m talking about?

Good!

That ability to step back inside yourself like that is not only useful in emotional self defence. Now, I’ve got to be careful here because I don’t want you to think I’m saying you should live in that state all the time. That way you’d never get close to your loved ones or friends.

But try it now, as you read these words. Step back and notice who is doing the reading. Step back from your sense of you and you’ll discover that there is a presence who does the reading. It’s the same presence there’s always been. You have a self that looks out from “inside” that never ages. Don’t you feel the same inside now as you did ten or more years ago?

And you know what else? As you observe, (or perhaps more accurately, allow yourself to notice), that presence you’ll discover some amazing things about it. It is always still. And it is always at peace. Right there. In the centre of you. Can you find it? As you try to answer that question, you might notice who or what it is that seems to search for the answer.

You got it! You found Inner Peace!