Don’t be afraid to ask for help

You need a 7 Day BrainwashThe other day someone reminded me of a quote from “A Course In Miracles” which goes something like: “All human behaviour is either an act of love or a cry for help.”

Such pearls of wisdom are lost, aren’t they, unless they have some personal meaning?

Then yesterday I got upset with someone I’m very close to. I mean angry and hurt. In my heart of hearts I knew I wasn’t being rational or constructive, but in the heat of the moment it didn’t matter. I was right, darn it!

And then, as so often happens when you just release for a while, the answer fluttered in. That quote reverberated round my brain for a while, and then I asked myself, “Well, in that case, I’m either performing an act of love or a cry for help. This surely doesn’t feel loving, so what is it I want help with?”

As if by magic the pieces dropped into place. I went to this person and said, “Listen. I need your help. I need not to feel like this. I know your behaviour wasn’t intended to hurt me, so I must have made up the hurt myself. But I’m kinda playing this loop tape in my head that you didn’t put there, but once I started it, for a while, it’s all I can hear.”

We reached a loving understanding in less than ten minutes. We are closer, bigger inside and enriched.

So here’s my tip for now, for this day and for always. If there’s anyone you’re upset with, even if it’s an old upset, ask yourself, “What is it I need help with?” And then humbly and sincerely ask them for your help. Do it with your palms up and your head high, for you are bigger than your anger, and love and friendship are more important than your ego.

The importance of good feelings

You need a 7 Day BrainwashIt isn’t easy feeling good, especially on those days when things aren’t going so well. However, as we have seen before, our thought vibrations affect what comes into our lives, so if you don’t try to change your thoughts your day won’t get any easier. If you oversleep and then your car breaks down on your way to work, you will be tempted to think It’s going to be one of those days- what an awful day it’s going to be!’

Of course, the thought vibrations you are giving out to the universe will be negative ones, which will attract back a whole load more things to make the day worse- because that is what you are expecting. You may find that your meeting is really difficult, the caf gets your order wrong at lunch and your boss calls you into his office over an error you made.

However, as soon as something first goes wrong, you need to stop any negative thoughts and immediately get into happier ones. Focus on something that makes you feel good- it could be your partner, your child, your pet, your hobby- anything that will make you feel warm and happy whenever you think of them. Imagine yourself chatting to your partner, playing with your child or pet or enjoying your hobby and then, when you are feeling in a much better state of mind, think It’s going to be a great day!’ Your mindset will have completely changed and you will be giving out much more positive vibrations to the universe which will ensure that the rest of your day goes well.

If you are feeling really stressed and are finding it too difficult to change your thoughts, try a little visualization. Go somewhere quiet and close your eyes. If you find it difficult to find a quiet place at work, take a bathroom break! Take a few deep breathes and try to clear your mind of everyday clutter. Think of a peaceful place where you would love to be; this could either be a place you know, such as a holiday resort, or somewhere imaginary, such as by a mountain stream. Imagine that you are there; feel the hot sun on your face and the sand under your feet, or hear the gentle sound of water trickling over rocks and feel the breeze on your face. Spend a couple of minutes in the vision and then gently release it. You should feel much calmer.

Here is a simple experiment I tried some years ago; when I used to drive to work, I hated the journey as it was usually pretty busy, there were snarl ups, road works, break downs- you name it and I was held up by it. It used to take me ages to get to work and I found myself tensing up even before I left the house. I expected to be held up every morning and to hit loads of traffic- and I was never disappointed!

I had just heard of the law of attraction, and decided to apply it to my daily commute. Instead of feeling tensed and angry, and imagining all the hold ups I would encounter, I put on some relaxing music, and visualized having an easy journey into work. I imagined sailing through the usual busy spots, and felt confident that I would not experience any hold ups or broken down vehicles. I expected my drive to work to be smooth and quick. The funny thing is it really worked! As long as I took this approach, the traffic was a lot lighter, nobody had broken down, other drivers let me out at junctions and I started getting to work a whole lot faster!

You have probably experienced this when you are running late- every traffic signal appears to be against you, there are unexpected road works, you get stuck behind a slow moving vehicle, and find yourself becoming more and more worked up! On the other hand, if you are running early and feel relaxed because you have plenty of time, the traffic is flowing freely, all the traffic signals are on green and there are no hold ups at all, because you are not expecting and fretting about them. Try my little experiment and see the difference in your daily commute!

If you have a particular meeting or appointment you are dreading, don’t turn it over and over in your mind and think of the worst case scenario or you will be sending out negative thought vibrations to match it. Instead, imagine it going well, and visualize achieving the outcome you want- then forget about it. Don’t worry about it and don’t stew it over again and again in your mind.

A Child’s Perspective

You need a 7 Day BrainwashThis past month, my wife and I have started sending our 2 sons to public daycare. The 1 year old is too young to understand what is going on so he is always happy to be there. The 3 year old, on the other hand, has been having a very difficult time in the mornings. As soon as we get in the car, he starts crying and it gets progressively more intense as we get closer to the daycare. By the time we are in his classroom, he is in a near panic, screaming and drawing intense stares from the other parents and staff. Within seconds of me leaving, he completely calms down and gets absorbed with some fun new activity that he would not have been able to experience at home.

Witnessing this really drove home a new realization for me. We all have the ability to experience happiness (or any other positive emotion for that matter) at any time we choose to do so. The advantage with children is that they let go very quickly and have a much easier time living in the moment.

I started thinking more about how most adults handle these kinds of situations, myself included, and in the majority of cases it takes a much longer time to move from a depressed state to one of positivity and happiness.

I can think of many times in my life where I spent an entire day in a negative state carrying around a grudge about something that happened many hours (or even days) prior. At the time, I didn’t even realize that I had control over the situation. Complete victim mentality.

Having spent a number of years working on my own personal development, I now experience far more happy and positive moments than negative ones. But I think it is only human to have times when the doom and gloom creeps in. My new strategy when dealing with these circumstances is to literally think like a 3 year old.

As an example, a few weeks ago I was expecting payment from a client with whom I made an agreement to offer a monthly payment plan. This was something I did more as a favor than a standard policy. When the client ignored my first, then second payment request, I felt myself becoming extremely frustrated. In the past, an event like this might have soured my mood, and in turn my productivity for the entire day (if not longer). I used the opportunity to literally picture myself as the 3 year old easily moving from one moment of devastation to a brand new moment of fun and opportunity. Instead of picking up a coloring book or a new toy fire truck, I picked up my laptop and began working on an exciting new project that I was involved in. My mood shifted immediately. I then took it up a notch with some inspiring music and before I knew it I was feeling amazing and very excited about my day.

I have still not been paid by that client but I’m okay with that now. The new project that I got involved in has already more than paid for the unpaid bill from my deficient client and I’m having a lot more fun with what I’m doing now.

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed by negativity, frustration, anger or depression, try remembering what it was like as a kid when you could experience pure happiness at any moment you chose to do so!

10 tips for positive lifestyle changes

You need a 7 Day BrainwashMaking the transition to success is about more than thinking positively, it’s about taking complete care of yourself and staying fit and healthy. The following tips can help you to take a natural approach to your new lifestyle.

1. Get plenty of sleep. Your body has to replenish itself overnight to heal and to enable you to focus and work hard towards your goals and to combat any stresses and strains, it’s vital that you have at least 6 to 8 hours each night.

2. Remember to keep that positive outlook. It’s a known fact that those people who are positive often have better health and greater success.

3. Daily exercise is important and you should try for at least 30 minutes every day, getting fitter will help you to not only feel better but feel that you can achieve anything that you set your mind too. It provides the foundation for health, well-being and success.

4. Meditate daily even if for just ten minutes. Use meditation to help you to relax and to handle any daily stress. Closing your eyes and picturing a beautiful scene is beneficial, in fact, visualize anything that inspires you or equally, you can picture your ultimate goal and see yourself achieving.

5. Ensure your work/ life balance is even. It’s good to go after your dreams but make sure you get some quality time out too.

6. Surround yourself with positive people. Get rid of energy drainers and welcome in those who are intrinsically good, happy and who have achieved their own personal goals.

7. Ensure you have a good diet. Eating on the run will not help you to stay healthy or to live a balanced life. If you know your diet is lacking, make sure you rectify this and take some supplements if necessary.

8. Remember to laugh. Laughter is so therapeutic and it releases endorphins, increases your blood flow, boosts your immune system and makes you feel good.

9. Sometimes we hold onto bitterness and regrets. These can eat away at us and make us unhealthy and unhappy. Face your inner demons and let them go.

10. Remember that life is too short to not be happy. Follow your dreams and live a fulfilled life. You can

2 easy ways to de-clutter your mind

You need a 7 Day BrainwashTaking control of your mind and eliminating any negative thoughts is never easy but this is exactly what you must do to enable yourself to allow positivity and change into your life.

Here are two great ways to de-clutter your mind:

Meditation

A good starting point is to learn how to use meditation to help you find a more peaceful state of mind. Meditation is not difficult but it does take time to master your thought processes and to simply still’ the mind of all of its random thoughts.

Ten minutes a day can really make a difference although once you realize the many benefits and start to feel more relaxed and more able to cope with stress, you may wish to extend your practice period for longer.

Journaling

Invest in a journal that you would love to write in and then capture all of your random thoughts in diary form and be sure to add in any outstanding tasks that have to be completed. By incorporating this simple process into your life, you will find that you are immediately keeping a track of urgent areas of your life and this will instantly make you feel more in control and more organized.

Writing down your thoughts or tasks will help you to be able to take the pressure off of your brain. How many times have you forgotten things because your mind feels disorganized and you have become forgetful?

It can be hard to remember everything that needs to be done and journaling helps to free up your mind.

20 Months To A Million

You need a 7 Day BrainwashBeing the owner of multiple businesses, I am always conscious of my money from both a personal and professional perspective. Our lives are very much intertwined and often controlled by our ability to manage, save and spend our money. I was recently reminded of a great concept that I learned about when I was a teenager.

If a person were to take one dollar, invest the dollar in an asset and then sell the asset for two dollars, they will have taken the first step in a 20 month process of accumulating a million dollars. The only habit that would need to be created is the habit of doubling the amount in hand every month for 20 months. The final amount at the end of each month would be:

Start – $1

Month 1 – $2

Month 2 – $4

Month 3 – $8

Month 4 – $16

Month 5 – $32

Month 6 – $64

Month 7 – $128

Month 8 – $256

Month 9 – $512

Month 10 – $1024

Month 11 – $2048

Month 12 – $4096

Month 13 – $8192

Month 14 – $16384

Month 15 – $32768

Month 16 – $65536

Month 17 – $131072

Month 18 – $262144

Month 19 – $524288

Month 20 – $1048576

Obviously the model is very simple and the idea is basic enough for anyone to grasp, however, I would like to expand on the underlying psychology of this concept. Let’s imagine that we were going to make a committed decision to implement this model in our own personal financial lives and we could not skip any steps or take any shortcuts. By the end of the first year, we will have accumulated only $4096. This means that in the next 8 months, we will have to amass $995,904 more than we currently have to reach the one million dollar level.

At this point, this imaginary experiment becomes more of a fairy tale or daydream to the average person. But let’s think about our minds and the power of focus. For the first 12 months of the experiment, we were making a monthly habit of acquiring assets (likely devalued assets) and selling them at a higher price point. As each month went by, we were forced to become more creative and innovative with our investments as the challenge of each amount grew larger. Assuming we were successful for the first 12 months, the challenge on month 13 would be to double $4096 to $8192. After an entire year of practicing with small amounts and getting into this habit, the only real change required would be to adjust our perception of the size of the investment. There are plenty of people in the world who have had success doubling large sums of money in short periods of time (business acquisitions, real estate and currency trading to name just a few). The average person may not understand how to do it but they most certainly could learn if they were to focus their mind and their attention on the task and do whatever it takes to learn the required skill.

I once heard T. Harv Eker use the extreme example that if there was a life or death situation and your life depended on you making a million dollars in one year, you could figure out a way to do it. I completely agree. The point I am trying to make is that I truly believe we are all capable of achieving a goal like this if the stakes are high enough. Why then, do so few people ever try to achieve such a major goal? Why do so many people reject the idea before giving any serious thought to it? There are probably a number of reasons, but from my perspective, the primary reason a person would never even attempt a goal like this is because in their heart, they don’t believe they can do it. If they did believe they could achieve the goal, would they not be actively working on it? Of course they would.

With that in mind we can begin to understand the powerful role that beliefs play in our lives. From the standpoint of our minds, a psychologist would say that a belief is nothing more than an idea that we have consciously accepted as true and ingrained as part of our subconscious conditioning. So if we are holding on to beliefs that limit us and keep us from taking action on a life changing idea, with the proper awareness, we can make the conscious decision to formulate a new belief that supports us in our big life goals.

I think it is both healthy and wise for every person to take time out regularly to examine their habits of thought. Since this article is centred around the idea of financial goals and money, I would encourage you to step back and review your personal thought processes when you were introduced to the idea of ’20 Months to One Million’. If you rejected the idea as something that was unrealistic or out of your level of capability, take some time to examine the belief you are holding that is causing you to reject the idea. What other limiting beliefs have crept into your mind that are no longer serving you? Can you replace those beliefs with a more empowering and gratifying thought pattern?

Stop second guessing yourself

You need a 7 Day BrainwashAre you always second guessing whether you have done the right thing in life? Made the right decision? Completed a job to a satisfactory standard? Or excelled on the blind date even? Self-doubts can lead to agonising bouts of negative thoughts and will shatter any feelings of confidence and lower your self-esteem if left unchecked.

It can certainly seem impossible to break out of this circle of negativity but it’s vital that you make a stand and start to make more positive decisions and stick by them.

It’s okay to stop and consider why you have doubts but often there is a much deeper reason as to why you lack confidence rather than any decision that you may have made. If you have been challenged beyond previous expectations, you may even have put untold pressure on yourself and this can lead to you doubting your own abilities.

Do you find yourself often repeating damaging negative thoughts such as I’m not good enough to do this?’ These thoughts can stop you from not only progressing in life but from even experiencing these challenges and relishing them.

You need to tame those negative thoughts and stop them in their tracks before they become too damaging. Every time that a negative self-doubt pops into your mind, banish it and instead relish the fact that it’s a new day and one with unlimited opportunities. The more that you can do this, the better you will be able to control these thoughts. With control come increased confidence and a boost to your self-esteem.

Don’t give yourself a hard time if you succumb occasionally to feelings of negativity. This behaviour of damaging self-talk may have been ingrained for many years, so it won’t disappear overnight. The moment that realisation dawns that you have slipped into old behaviours, mentally check yourself and give yourself an emotional hug. Awareness is the key aspect to changing your life and once you re-invent the way that you think, you will be halfway to turning your life around.

Everybody makes mistakes and you are no exception. Learn from your mistakes but do not harbour feelings of guilt or shame. It doesn’t make you bad, merely human.

When self-doubts creep in, make a note of them and then turn the damaging first phrase around into a positive one:

-I’m not the right person for the job, I’m rubbish in Interviews

-The job might challenge me but I’m going to excel in the interview and show them what I’m made of

Write a list of all of the positive aspects that make you into the person you are. You will find that there are many more positives about you than negative qualities and once you recognise this, you will see and feel an improvement generally.

Brainwash yourself to a new improved you

You need a 7 Day BrainwashOne of the most fulfilling things a person can do is take some kind of action that causes them to improve in a certain area of their life. Think about this from your own perspective for a second. Remember a time when you accomplished something that proved you had become “better”.

For me, when I first began my entrepreneurial career, one of my goals was to be a professional speaker. Despite how nervous I would get before a talk (mostly due to a total lack of experience), I got out and started speaking. I was mediocre at best. But I kept trying, learning, studying and practicing. When the opportunity came to speak to a huge group of new university students, I delivered my most confident and inspiring talk to-date. I still remember the rush of excitement at the end of the talk when a bunch of the students lined up to speak to me and ask me questions at the end. I knew I had taken a step in the right direction. The real win: I was improving and it was an awesome feeling!

For the past 3 years, I have spent most of my time developing my business and implementing as many self improvement ideas as I could. What I realized along the way was that I was not merely improving but I was actually reprogramming my mind to get rid of old habits and beliefs and instill new, more empowering ones. I was brainwashing myself.

Here are 7 things you might want to try that will help you brainwash yourself to a new and improved YOU:

Emulate a role model

Learn to trust the sound of your own voice

Hang out with an influencer

Wage a war against the crybaby voice in your head

Use new relationships to develop a new persona

Get the competitive edge

Get up early and study

Establish a simple routine for using the law of attraction

You need a 7 Day BrainwashI am not expecting you to visualize or meditate for hour upon hour. However, if you are serious about changing your life, you are going to have to establish a simple routine for using the law of attraction and to put the above suggestions into practice.

Once you have your routine in place, it will become second nature to you. The trickiest part will be to establish one in the first place; we are all creatures of habit and it can be very difficult to adapt to new routines, particularly if they are a little hard at first. Stick with it though as the rewards are well worth your perseverance; we are talking about the possible manifestation of all you desire from life, so surely that’s got to be worth a little commitment!

I will give you an example of my daily routine. Every morning when I wake, I reach for the scripts I have written in my special book and read them through. As I read them, I visualize, imagine them coming true and fully belief that they are on their way to me. I look at the pictures I have pasted which represent my desires manifested and get into feeling as though they are already mine.

I mentally go through my day, and tell myself it’s going to be a fantastic day with so many opportunities. If there is a part of my day that looks as though it is going to be tricky, I mentally imagine it going really well, and fully expect a positive outcome. Then I release it to the universe and do not dwell on it.

As I go through my day, I look for things to appreciate, such as my first hot cup of coffee or the smell of the flowers out of my window. I have my vision board easily visible and when I need a little time out from work I will look at this and feel excitement and gratitude that the things on it are manifesting their way into my life.

At the end of the day, I write in my Appreciation Diary all the things I have found to appreciate through the day. I then spend some time on my statements of intention; reading them through, and visualizing them as though they are already mine. I imagine them in the greatest detail and get into the feeling of having them already. I then try to hold this feeling as long as I can.

All of this takes only a few minutes each day; your daily routine should be personal to you, but at first commit to at least spending five minutes at night on your intentions and another few minutes each morning reading your scripts. After a time you may decide you feel more comfortable changing the routine; that’s absolutely fine. Do whatever feels right for you.

Have a positive attitude

You need a 7 Day BrainwashIf you have a positive attitude, you will find it much easier to manifest your desires, as you will be naturally giving out positive emotional thought vibrations which will attract positive things to you. Even if you are not consciously trying to manifest something, your positive attitude will naturally attract more things to be positive about and you will be one of those people who seem to attract endless good fortune.

Try to remain positive at all times. This doesn’t mean you can never feel down or can never again have a good old moan, but you have to make your natural state as positive and as upbeat as possible. Get out of the habit of complaining about certain situations in your life. Stop any negative self talk, such as Oh I’ll never be able to do that’. Expect that good things will happen to you and that every outcome will be positive.

If something unwanted happens, try to see a positive side to it if you can. For example, if you moan that every time you have a little extra money, your car needs repairs or you receive an unexpected bill, try turning it around and start being thankful that you have the extra money to allow you to pay for these unexpected expenses.

I heard about someone whose car required so many repairs it was not economically worth repairing. He couldn’t afford to replace it, so decided he would have to go without a car until he had saved the money for a new one. He started cycling to work, and after a few months realized that he had lost two stones in weight and was enjoying cycling so much he decided to take it up competitively. So from not being able to afford a new car, he became fit and healthy and found a new hobby!

Always get into the habit of looking for the positive side to your problems.

Unfortunately our natural state is to feel either negative or at best in a state of what I call flat- neither unhappy but not particularly great either. It is very difficult to attract positive things into your life by feeling flat, as you are shutting yourself off from vibrating at a higher level; these vibrations flow best when you are feeling happy, positive and good about yourself.

Do more of the things that bring you joy, for whenever you feel joy, happiness and love you are connected most strongly to your higher self. Chat to your partner, laugh with your children, stroke or play with your pet. Meet up with a friend for coffee and have a laugh. Listen to your favorite music, or music that calms, relaxes or inspires you, or watch a television show that motivates you or makes you laugh.

Place pictures of your family, your pets or of you enjoying a favorite hobby around your home and place of work. Looking at them should help you to feel instantly more positive and full of love.

Exercise can be a great mood lifter. Even a gentle walk can raise your spirits and boost your energy levels.

Nobody can feel happy all of the time, although feeling upbeat becomes easier the more you practice it, but start by finding things to feel great about in your life; laugh more, moan less, hang around with positive, upbeat people and try to avoid negative folk. Expect that things will turn out well and that if you experience a problem you will find a solution. Expect good things to come your way!

Not only will you start to attract many more good things than bad into your life, but you will be much more open to receiving your intentions.