1. You need to feel good! Here is how to do it. Self-confidence and feeling good has possesses a hormonal element, you can have the ability to change the way you feel by reliving good times. If you can recall a moment where you really felt confident about yourself, then great! You should make use of it. If you cannot recall, then maybe relive the time when you felt happy or contented. Controlling your thoughts and emotions deliberately can have a big impact to your self-confidence and others aspects of your life.
2. You should beat self-consciousness because this is the number one enemy of confidence. Although this is useful for learning the impact you have to other people, excessive consciousness is the main enemy of self-confidence. The trick here is to keep your attention off yourself when you want to. Here is how to do it.
a. You can usually tell if you feel self-conscious because your start to feel anxious about yourself. So when you feel self-conscious, you should choose something outside yourself to concentrate and study it carefully. Like for example, look at the door, examine its different shades of colors and textures, wonder about who made it and etc. The key here is to learn how to keep your attention off to yourself. It is good to practice this trick privately. You can sit quiet, practice on focusing your own thoughts then deliberately focusing outwards towards a picture or a thing.
b. Social self-confidence can be hard to find sometimes because you are not certain on what you are going to do. In this case, you should focus on what your purpose in the situation. Whether you are there to figure out if you like other people who are around, make others comfortable, find out information, make business matters, and etc. It is difficult to feel self-conscious if you are occupied with a task.
Most of the times, people are comfortable with others when working a common goal. The common goal of socializing could me making some friends, exchange of mutually useful information, brain storming your knowledge to different types of people – it could be whatever you want. The important thing is to have a common goal.
3. You should watch out for the undue criticism including your own. You may have noticed that people speak to themselves in such a way that they would never speak to other people. You know that sort of thing that when you break a glass and somebody would yell, “You stupid idiot! You cannot do anything right, can you?” Criticism can make the person feel depressed or upset and is rarely useful.